Andrew Tabel
Johnny went to school one morning. On his way to school he saw a male dog ontop of a female dog (mating). He was so amazed (yu save part blo exploration nambat) that he spent almost 5 mins or so to observe the process that were taking place between the two dogs. Later in the class he was so eager to discuss this with his class mates but couldn't find a right time until talking drills lessions resumed. The teacher asked the students to make up their stories during the talking drills lession and share it with the class. Without delay, Johnny raised his hands (both). Teacher noticing Johnny new he must have something special so he allow him to share his story. Teacher: OK Johonny. What is it that you got there, share it Johnny: Teacher, I made an etraordinary observation this morning and trust me if I share it with the class the bunch of you will enjoy it. Teacher: Thats good please tell us Johnny: Its about animals but not just animals, they are immitating human actions like what mum and dad normally does during wkends. Teacher: Ok just tell us what you got and stp prolong your introduction. Johnny: OK....Teacher what I saw this morning on my way to school was a male dog. It was climbing at the back of the female dog and strated to........ Teacher: Stop it!!!!!Hold it right there Johnny... I think I see where you are going. Johnny: Know you didn't see, you werent't there. Teacher: Know I mean I see the point of the story Johnny: No!! you could not see the point too.....I swear I was so close and the point is already inside....... eh eh!! lap isi!! top week to you all..... Patrick Seleng
Wanpla man go hausik na dokta operatim ai blo em, bipo long em discharge dockta tok bai yumi testim ai blo u sapos em kamap gut gen. Na sas blo operesin em K1000. Bikman harim sas i atap tumas na tingting planti long hau bai em baim. Ok, taim blo discharge nau, dokta kisim em go long checkim ai blo em, dokta rausim banis na wave long ai blo man ya na tok: yu ken lukim han blo mi or nogat...bikman tok, sori dokta...mi hard long lukim ya... ok, dokta kisim pepa na wavim...em tu man ya tok...mi no inap lukim wanpla samting...Dokta belhat nau singautim wanpla yanpla nes meri kam...em tokim meri nes long rausim olgeta kolos...nau dokta tok...ok papa..yu ken lukim meri nes or nogat....paps man bekim na tok: sori, dokta em tu mi hard stret long lukim... DOKTA SARAPIM EM...YU BULSIT!!! DIWAI BLO U SANAP NA HAU YU GIAMAN STAP Sasaf Keak
Kids are innocent, they will say and speak out the truth when they are forced and given a chance.. Never tell and force your children to say or speak out anything... At dinner, a little boy was forced to lead the family into prayer... Little Boy: But I don't know how to pray Dad: Just pray for your family members, friends and neighbors, the poor, etc. Little Boy : "Dear Lord" he started "Thank u for our visitors and their children, who finished all my cookies and ice cream. Bless them so they won't come again. Forgive our neighbor's son, who removed my sister's clothes and wrestled with her on her bed. This coming Christmas, please send clothes to all those poor naked ladies on my daddy's blackberry and provide shelter for the homeless men who use mom's room when daddy is at work.. AMEN " Mom and Dad did not have their dinner that evening......ha ha secret kam loose!! Sasaf Keak
Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids. The first guy said, 'My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.' The second guy said, 'Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.' The third man said: 'Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion.' The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: 'What are all the congratulations for?' One of the three said: 'We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. .. What about your son?' The fourth man replied: 'My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub. ' The three friends said: 'What a shame.... what a disappointment.' The fourth man replied: 'No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends. Elias Tarue
Mr Verma comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck and says "Guess what darling, I have great news, I'm a month overdue, I think we're going to have a baby boy. The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody." The next day, Mrs Verma receives a phone call from PNG Power, because the electricity bill has not been paid. "Am I speaking to Mrs Verma?" asks the PNG Power guy. "Yes.......speaking." "You're a month overdue" says the guy. "How do you know?" stammers the young woman. "Well mam, it's in our files," he replies "What are you saying, it's in your files.....HOW??" "Yes....we have a system of finding out who's a month overdue" says the guy. "GOD!!!!...this is too much" she cries. "Madam, I am sorry, I am following orders, I have to inform you that you are a month overdue." the guy says again. "I know that! Let me speak to my husband about this tonight, he will speak to your company tomorrow." That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, as mad as a bull, rushes to PNG Power office the very next day. "What's going on? You have it on your file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts. "Just calm down," says the lady at the reception. "It's nothing serious, all you have to do is pay us." "PAY YOU? And if I refuse?" "Well in that case sir, we'd have no option but to CUT YOURS OFF!" "And what would my wife do then?" demands the husband. "I don't know" she replies. "I guess she'll have to use a CANDLE" Sasaf Keak
Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfasthoping my wife would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!',and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone ' Happy Birthday.' I thought.....Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... They will remember. My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word.. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, 'Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday! ' It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o’clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me..' I said, 'Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!' We went to lunch. Amigo Stranger
Harry was a poor tailor whose shop was next door a 2 Star Restaurant. Every day for lunch, Harry would eat his black bread and herring in the small garden at the back of his shop. He would always smell the wonderful odorous emanating from the next door restaurant’s kitchen. One day, the restaurant sent Harry an invoice. Harry went to see the manager to ask why. The manager replied, “You’re enjoying my food, so you should pay for it.” Harry refused to pay and the restaurant sued him. At the hearing, the judge asked the restaurant to present their side of the story. They said, “Every day, this man comes and sits near our kitchen and visibly smells our food whilst eating his. We are obviously adding value to his cheap food and we deserve to be recompensed for it.” The judge then asked Harry, “And what do you have to say about that?” Harry said nothing but stuck his hand in his pocket and rattled around the coins he had inside. The judge asked him, “What’s the meaning of that?” Harry replied, “I am paying for the smell of his food with the sound of my money. Torsecs Kepas
No offence ladies...... One night Jerry brought home a dozen red roses to his wife. "How lovely, Dear," she said. "What's the occasion?" "I want to make love to you," he said simply. "Not tonight, Dear. I have a headache," answered his wife. The next night Jerry came home with a big box of chocolates and explained that he wanted to make love with her. "I'm awfully tired, Honey," said his wife. "Not tonight." Every night for a week Jerry brought home something, but each time his wife's answer was no. Finally he came home with six black kittens with little red bows around their necks and handed them to his wife. "How adorable, Jerry!" she exclaimed. "But what are they for?" The husband replied, "These are six little pallbearers for your dead pussy." David Allen
Girlfriend : (Low Voice) Sweety, Last night I had a dream about you. : Mpata : (excited) Oooh, Tell me Something Honey... : Girlfriend : I dreamt We were traveling in a bus, Suddenly the bus lost control and fell in the river. Everyone swam to save their life, but you were still swimming and searching for someone. Mpata : (with luv): Oh, Definately, i was searching for You..Right ?" : Girlfriend : ( Frown) NO, You were shouting, Driver! Driver!!, Please, Give me My Change before You Die ooO, Abegiiiii.. Ozzie Pion
A man is about to jump off London Bridge when he hears a voice behind him. It's Santa Claus. "Why do this? It's Christmas Eve?" Santa says. "Because I've lost my job, " the man answered, " my wife has left me, and I have no presents for the kids." "Ah, I can grant you 3 wishes, " replied Santa, "So when you get up tomorrow your job will be there, your wife will be waiting for you, and there'll be presents for the children." "Oh Santa - however can I repay you?" gasped the man. "Well - not a lot of people know this, " came the reply, "But old Santa is gay, you could bend over for me, the elves aren't much good at it." "Dunno 'bout that, " the man said. "Oh, go on, " Santa urged, "After all - I granted you 3 wishes, don't be so ungrateful." "Ok, " the man sighed, as he unzipped his trousers. Santa did the biz and when he finished the man pulled his trousers back up. Santa looks at the man and asks "How old are you?" "47, " came the reply. "What? And you still believe in Santa Claus?" Norman Terry
One afternoon Lil johnny was enjoyin with his dad mum and untie watching a movie,the movie was so intrestin that it came to a part,wer the actor of the film will have sex with,the lady in the film..johnnys moma quickly get the remote control to forward that part,at det very split second johnny comes out...no mommy leave it daddy and untie love playin det game wen u go to work...;) Sylvia Kila
A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15 kids. "WOW!" The social worker exclaims. "Are they all yours?" "Yep, they are all mine," the flustered momma sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, "Sit down Leroy." All the children rush to find seats. 'Well,' says the social worker, "then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your children's names." "Well, to keep it simple, the boys are all named 'Leroy' and the girls are all named 'Leighroy'." In disbelief, the case worker. "Are you serious? They're ALL named Leroy?" Their momma replied, "Well, yes-it makes it easier. When it's time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Leroy!' An' when it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Leroy!' an they all comes a runnin. An' if I need to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell Leroy' and all of them stop. It's the smartest idea I ever had, namin' them all Leroy." The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, "But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch ?" "Then I call them by their last names." Terry Ragagalo
A young punk gets on the cross-town bus. He had spiked, multi-colored hair that was green, purple, & orange. His clothes were a tattered mix of leather rags. His legs were bare & he wore worn-out shoes. His entire face & body were riddled with pierced jewelry & had big, bright feathers as earring. He sits down in the only vacant seat that was directly across from an old man who glared at him for the next 10 minutes. Finally, the punk gets self-conscious & barks at the oldman, "What are you looking at you old fart... didn't you ever do anything wild when you were young?" Without missing a beat, the oldman replies, "Yeah, back when I was young and in the Navy, I got really drunk one night in Singapore and screwed a parrot.... I thought maybe you were my son.'' Tugiau Sinda
A woman was having sex during the day with her secret lover,while her husband is at work. Her nine year old son Sandile comes home unexpectedly,se es the illegal lovers and hides in the bedroom's wardrobe to watch. A few minutes later her husband comes home. She hides her lover in the wardrobe,not knowing Sandile is in there already." Sandile says,"Its dark in here." The man replies."Yes it is." Sandile:"I have a soccer ball;do you want to buy it?" Man:"No." Snakie Vavia
Two women are chatting in an office. Woman 1: "I had sex last night, did you?" Woman 2: "Yes." Woman 1: "Was it good?" Woman 2: "No, it was a disaster.. my husband came home, ate his dinner in 3 mins, got on top of me, finished having sex in 5 mins, rolled over and fell asleep in 2 mins. How was yours?" Woman 1: "Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house and we had an hour of foreplay. We then had an hour long session of fantastic sex and afterwards talked for an hour. It was like a fairytale!" At the same time, their husbands are talking at work. Husband 1: "You wanted sex last night, how was it?" Husband 2: "Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate, had sex with my wife and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?" Husband 1: "It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner because they cut the electricity due to o/s billsl; so I had to take my wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn't have money left for a cab. We had to walk home which took an hour - and when we got home I remembered there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house! I was so angry that I couldn't get it up for an hour and then I couldn't climax for another hour. After I finally did, I was so aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep and my wife was jabbering away for another hour!" >> Blunder of the day << CPR Ako Omae PC Ben and Little Johnny were swimming at the beach when they saw a pregnant woman drowning, they quickly pulled her to safety. Ben starts to do CPR when he noticed Little Johnny take the woman's underwear off and put his mouth between the legs. Ben asked: What are you doing? Little Johnny said, “I’m just making sure, no air escapes while you’re doing CPR!”. Tamamarama Toi Choi A priest wanted to earn money for the building expansion programme for his church. He had heard there was big money in horse racing so he went out to buy a horse. At the local auction he noticed horses were quite expensive so he bought a donkey instead. The priest figured since he had the donkey he thought he'd enter the donkey in a race, the donkey comes third. The racing form headline the following day '' priests ass shows'' the priest was so pleased he entered the donkey in the next days race and won, the headlines read '' priests ass out in front'' the bishop was so upset to this sort of publicity that he told the priest not to enter the donkey in anymore races the papers headlines read '' bishop scratches priests ass'' this became too much for the bishop and told the priest to give the donkey to the nuns, the next day's headlines read '' nuns have best ass in town'' the bishop fainted as he read the papers and ordered the nuns to sell the donkey. They sold the donkey for ten dollars to a local farmer. The next day headlines read ''nun peddles ass for ten bucks'' they buried the bishop the next day and the paper headline printed as '' too much ass responsible for bishop's death'' Terry Dabowota
Husband and Wife were waiting at the bus-stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after some minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the Wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the Husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the Husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind-man as he taps it on the side-walk, and says to him,'Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? The ticking sound is driving me crazy.' The blind-man replies,'If you would've put a rubber at the end of your stick, we'd be riding the bus! So shut the f**k up!!! Sign Language
A non English speaking foreigner entered a restaurant craving to be served immediately. As soon as he was seated he waived to the waiter to be served. The female waiter was busy with the other guests and did not attend to him immediately. The foreigner waved again, but this time without realizing that it was with his middle finger. The waiter upon noticing the use of the middle finger, felt offended and reported the customer’s behavior to her boss. The Boss (a little concerned) walked across to the foreigner and asked, "Yes Sir, Is there any Problem?" And the foreigner replied "Yes, I’m having trouble making her come. I've been fingering her for the last 15 minutes but she wouldn’t cum"..... (Ah ha ha ha – Laugh it out!!) 8. Kids say the Dandiest Things TEACHER : How old were you on your last birthday? STUDENT : Seven. TEACHER : How old will you be on your next birthday? STUDENT : Nine. TEACHER : That's impossible. STUDENT : No, it isn't, Teacher. I'm eight today. Its my birthday today.... TEACHER : George, go to the map and find North America. GEORGE : Here it is! TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? CLASS : George! TEACHER : Didn't you promise to behave? STUDENT : Yes, Sir. TEACHER : And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't? STUDENT : Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I will not be upset if you break yours too.... HAROLD : Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do? TEACHER : Of course not. HAROLD : Good, because I didn't do my homework. TEACHER : Why are you late? WEBSTER : Because of the sign. TEACHER : What sign? WEBSTER : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." GARY : I don't think I deserve a zero on this test. TEACHER : I agree, but it's the lowest mark I can give you. MOTHER : Why did you get such a low mark on that test? GARY : Because of absence. MOTHER : You mean you were absent on the day of the test? GARY : No, but the kid who sits next to me was. TEACHER : In this box, I have a 10-foot snake. SAMMY : You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet. TEACHER : If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? VINCENT : One dollar. TEACHER : You don't know your arithmetic. VINCENT : You don't know my father. 9. Use Big People’s Words The former kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk. You need to use "big people words", she'd always remind them. She asked Wendy what she had done over the weekend. "I went to visit my Nana" "No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big people words!" She then asked Joey what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo." he said. "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN, use big people words!" She then asked Eddie what he had done. "I read a book" he replied. "That's wonderful" the teacher said. "What book did you read?" Eddie thought about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride and said, "Winnie The Shit." (Winnie the Pooh). 10. Betting – the Canadian Style A pretty middle aged lady went into the Bank of Canada one-day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!" After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office (the customer is always right!). The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, "$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk. The president was of course curious as to how she came to get this money, he asked how did you get this money?" The lady replied, "I make bets." The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?" The lady said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square." "Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!" The lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?" "Sure," said the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!" The lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 am as a witness?" "Sure!" replied the confident president. That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure that there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet. The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet: "$25,000 says the president's balls are square!" The president agreed with the bet again and the lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president complied. The lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them. "Well, Okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure." Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall. The president asked the old lady, "What the hell's the matter with your lawyer?" She replied, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00am today, I'd have The Bank of Canada's president's balls in my hand." Xghombigho Wing
There was a kid who's father promised to take him to a brothel for a whore to introduce him to manhood on his 16th birthday. The day arrived and off they went. Dad said to his son, "I'll be back soon, call if you have any questions." An hour later the phone rings and it's the boy to his dad. "Dad" he says," She's laying naked on the bed and she has her legs apart. She keeps telling me she's ready and to take her! What do I do?" And dad says," son, get undressed too, and just put your head where she pees". A few hours later the father goes back to pick up the boy and the place is surrounded by police, firefighters, and the bomb squad. The dad asks an officer what’s going on. "Oh- some dumb ass horny naked kid stuck his head in the toilet and he's stuck". (Aha – ha – ha - laugh it out!!) Chinese Meets Spielberg A Chinese went to a bar in Hawaii to have some drinks. At the counter, he sat next to a famous Hollywood producer, Steven Spielberg, who was already ahead by a quart of alcohol. After a round of beer the Chinese sensed that the famous producer was glaring at him. Suddenly, in a flash the Chinese crashed down from his stool, felled by a vicious hook from the producer. Picking himself up, he yelled : " What the hell was that for ? "The producer ranted: "That's for the bombing of Pearl Harbor, you ##@@!!##! My dad perished in that bombing!" " I am not Japanese, you stupid Nincompoop! I am Chinese! " " Yeah yeah yeah . . .Japanese, Vietnamese, Burmese, Chinese, you’re are all the same. " Regaining his composure, the Chinese took his seat and ordered a double from the bartender. A few seconds later, the Chinese turned around and delivered a deadly snake fist to the producer, sending him flat to the floor. "What was that for?" exclaimed the producer. "That's for the sinking of the TITANIC! I had ancestors on that ship!" the Chinese replied. " You ignorant chink! The TITANIC was sunk by an iceberg! " shouted the producer. " Yeah yeah yeah . . . Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg. . you are all the same!" (Aha – ha – ha - laugh it out!!) Xghombigho Wing
A mother had three daughters and on their wedding she asked each of them to write home and tell her about their married life. The first wrote back on the second day. The letter arrived with a single message, "Maxwell Coffeehouse". The Mother is confused but finally noticed a Maxwell coffee ad, and it said: "SATISFACTION TO THE LAST DROP..." So, Mother was happy. Then the second daughter got married and the message read; "Rothmans". So the Mother looks for the Rothmans ad, and it says; "LIFE SIZE, KING SIZE". And Mother is happy. Then it was the third one's wedding. Mother was anxious. It took 4 weeks for a message to come through. When it did the message was simply "BRITISH AIRWAYS". Mother was so concerned. She frantically went through all the newspapers at home looking for a BA ad. She found one and fainted! The ad read: "TWO TIMES A DAY, SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, BOTH WAYS. (Aha – ha – ha - laugh it out!!) By Xghombigho Wing
One day little Johnny went to his father, and asked him if he could buy him a $200 bicycle for his birthday. Johnny's father said, "Johnny, we have a $180,000 mortgage on the house, and you want me to buy you a bicycle? Wait until Christmas."Christmas came around, and Johnny asked again. The father said, "Well, the mortgage is still extremely high, sorry about that. Ask me again some other time." Well, a couple of days later, the boy was seen walking out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase. His father asked him why he was leaving and the boy said, "Yesterday I was walking past your room, and I heard you say that you were pulling out, and mommy said that you should wait because she was coming too, and DAMN you expect me to be stuck with that $180,000 mortgage!" (Aha – ha – ha - laugh it out!) Xghombigho Wing
Four Catholic ladies were having coffee. The first woman tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'. The second woman chirps, "My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him "Your Grace". The third Catholic crone says, "My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, he's called "Your Eminence". Since the fourth woman sips her coffee in silence, the first three women give her this subtle, "Well...?" So she replies, “My son is 6'2"... and terribly handsome. He has plenty of money... broad square shoulders... dresses very well has a tight muscular body and tight hard buns... and whenever he walks into a room... women gasp, 'Oh, my God...' (Aha – ha – ha - laugh it out!) By: Xghombigho Wing
Three nuns pass every day through a street that led them from Church to a Reformatory. They noticed a parrot that stood at the entrance of a big residential house. Every time they passed in front of that house, the bird would pronounce three sequential colors. One day, they heard, "Yellow, blue, black." One of the nuns realized that those colors perfectly matched the colors of their underwear. She mentioned her discovery to the other two nuns, but both were reluctant to believe that could be possible. The next day, they all wore black underwear and passed in front of the house, and very precisely the parrot spoke, "Black, black, black." Hearing that, the three nuns were astonished! One of the nuns spoke up: "Girls, tomorrow we are going to fool that bird." Saying that, she recommended that the next day, none of them should wear any underwear under their vestments. Respecting their agreement, next day they wore no underwear and proceeded to pass in front of the parrot's house. They peeked at the bird. At the beginning, the parrot looked a bit puzzled. He swung back and forth on the cane he was perched on. Then, after a while, the Parrot spoke, "Straight, Straight, Curly!" (Aha – ha – ha - laugh it out!!) Terry Dabowota
Girl:"Uncle I feel guilty." Uncle:"What have you done my child?". Girl:"I called a man a son of a bitch." Uncle:"Why did you called him a son of a bitch?". Girl:"Because he touched my hand." Uncle:"Like this?" (as he touches her hand). Sylvia Kila
On a special teacher's day, a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shooked it, held it over her head, and said, "I bet I know what it is - flowers!" "That's right!" said the boy, "but how did you know?" "Just a wild guess," she said. The next pupil was the candy store owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shooked it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is - a box of candy!" "That's right! But how did you know?" asked the girl. "Just a lucky guess," said the teacher. The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held the bag over her head and noticed that it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied. The teacher repeated the process, touching another drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied. The teacher then said, "I give up, what is it?" The boy replied, "A puppy!" Sylvia Kila
Once there was a millionaire who had a collection of live alligators. He kept them in a pool at the back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day, he decides to throw a huge party. During the party he announces, "My dear guests, I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!" As soon as he finishes his last word, there is the sound of a large splash. The guests all turn to see a man in the pool swimming as fast as he can. They cheer him on as he keeps stroking. Finally, the swimming man makes it to the other side unharmed. The millionaire is so impressed, he says, "My boy, that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well, I must keep my end of the bargain. Which do you want, my daughter or the one million dollars?" The man says, "Listen, I don't want your money. I don't want your daughter, either. I want the person who pushed me in that water!" |
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